Maggi my dear readers is its own food group. If you disagree I’ll be more than happy to introduce you to the next random person on the street and we’ll gleefully bludgeon some sense into your head.
I met Maggi in school. My earliest recollection of Maggi is not of eating it but of wanting to own it. That’s right. People want to be a lot of things when they grow up, Pilot, Doctor, Policeman, Circus Clown (I have this friend…), but not me. I wanted to own a Maggi factory when I grew up. Owning a factory was the only way my mind could guarantee an endless supply of Maggi that I could eat as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. That and something to do with noodle straps. If it doesn’t make any sense do re-read the part about me having to grow up.
Obviously, I could never have more than two at a time and that too used to give me a preview of my distended belly future. One however was too less and left a craving on my tongue. The same craving I licked off plates and bowls the Maggi was served in. The last drops of liquid masala were manna from heaven and I could not leave a single molecule of it on the utensil. This gave a big inferiority complex to my imaginary pet dog. His name was noodles.
Since then, Maggi has come a long way. You can now get rice and wheat variants while the brand is spread across ketchup, soups, seasoning and other categories. It's the ultimate comfort food. Most convenient to cook and one of the rarities that provide a full meal on just adding water, cooking in the least time. Mother's around the world keep a packet in the temple, thanking gods for this modern wonder. Everyone has their preference of Maggi making style and recipe. Some like it wet, some like it dry. Some like it in the pot, with veggies and fried. I liked mine poured hot into Tiffin box and during school recess to be found solidified with a jelly like consistency, cut into cake like pieces and then had. My friend’s mom being aware of my Maggi Tiffin stealing ways used to send with him a concoction with tomato ketchup. Needless to say I foiled their attempts and acquired a taste for it as well. Sadly, I could never replicate the experiment at home. Try as I might, I couldn’t steal from myself.
Me and Maggi co-existed in a perfectly hunky-dory world. If you know your bollywood then this is the time a villain makes the entry. Nestle lost the plot. First they took away my favorite flavor of 'Sweet and Sour' closely followed by 'Capsicum'. It probably left a bitter taste in their accountant's mouth but oh what I would give for a Sweet and Sour Maggi right now! They tried to fix what wasn’t broken and gave new meaning to the adage “Hitting axe on your own foot”. So we had a new Maggi that tasted like bird dropping (this is where you think, “how does he know what bird droppings taste like?”) and started being used by Doctors to induce vomiting whenever medically required, e.g. when you voluntarily swallowed bird droppings.
Sales plummeted and no one in Nestle made fresh lime soda because they took a while to recover from the hangover. Lesson learnt, they redeemed themselves by bringing the old Maggi back and all hostelites past, present and from the future breathed a collective sigh of relief. But, it was too late for me. I had already crossed over to the dark side and Top Ramen was my new bed fellow. Tempted with its promises of international appeal, smoother flat noodles and spicier masala, I gave in. I couldn’t resist. I had a collection of digestive juices crying in my belly and I did not have anything to feed them with. Maggi eventually did forgive me as I forgave it, as one must forgive their first love, but the damage was done. Now I spend time alternately with both of them and we are a happy threesome.
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